Living Legacy
A legacy has traditionally meant a financial or tangible property gift, but we leave more than that when we leave this physical plane. We also leave the gift of our lifetime with intangible qualities such as personal characteristics, beliefs, or manner of living. Even more, we create this legacy, our living legacy, and give it to others throughout our lifetime by the way we live, day-to-day, year-to-year.
“What is my living legacy?” Delving into this question can be a sobering probe. It brings us face-to-face with our life, how we live, what we do, and how we treat others. It begs other questions such as “How do I measure up?” If we measure ourselves only in comparison to others, this can be a slippery slope. But if we search within and measure ourselves by our beliefs and principles, and do our best to live in integrity with them, we come closer to living in accord with who we really are and our living legacy evolves naturally and perfectly.
When I was in grade school, toward the beginning of each year there was one evening set aside as Parents’ Night. On these nights, my parents would sit in my chair, look in my desk, and listen to my teachers talk about our class lessons and activities. The next morning, every single year, I would find a note from my mom in my desk. She would write some compliments on my schoolwork and tell me she was proud of me. And every time, always, she would end the note with, “Do your best.”
It never said “Be the best.” It said, “Do your best.” Because I also inherited my mother’s drive toward perfectionism, that was a tall order. And, being the good girl that I was, I always did what I was told (well, until my mid-teens that is, but that’s another story). So, while I always strived to do my best, I was in a quandary because I was also taught that no one is perfect. There I was, trying to do my best, striving for perfection, and all the while knowing I would never get there.
I left the same notes for my children in their school desks on Parents’ Nights. It seemed the best advice I could give them. But as an adult, Life had brought me to a different understanding: we are already perfect. Our very core nature is perfect, and any perceived imperfections arise from being in disharmony with, or misunderstanding, our true nature. This resonated within me and resolved my dilemma, and my efforts toward perfection relaxed. Oh, I still strive to do my best, but without (or at least less of) the element of attaining a perfect result. And I’m easier on myself when higher priorities take precedence. As my daughter replied when we suggested that the few B’s on her grade school report card could also be A’s, “Yes, but that would mean I’d be spending all of my time studying and not have time for my friends or other things I want to do.” I couldn’t argue with that. Somewhere along the way she had derived at that early age what had taken me a few decades to attain. And there it was, my living legacy, showing up in my daughter and being reflected back to me.
Life gives us opportunities to learn who we are, our perfect nature, through the experience of seeming imperfections. We live in a world of duality where there is always an opposite quality, and this gives us opportunities to choose, learn and understand. We know what daylight is because we also experience darkness. So it is with personality traits, physical discomforts, or other attributes on our sometimes long list of what we’d like to change about ourselves. They help us to understand the positive qualities of who we really are, the true nature of our being, and what our potential is. When we experience anger or resentment, we can better understand the qualities of acceptance and tolerance. When we resist through worry, we can better understand the power of trust. Through these understandings, we grow. We come closer to actualizing the core truth of our being. And we serve others whose lives we touch -- teaching by living our lives and doing our best.
So, while it appears to us that we are imperfect, that life is imperfect, it is indeed all in perfect order. It is said that experience is the best teacher, and Life is the grandest experience of all. As we navigate life, exploring and experiencing this vast world of diversity, it helps to know that we are also learning, expanding our awareness and deepening our understanding. We share this learning, awareness and understanding day-to-day, year-to-year, by just living our lives and doing our best. This is our greatest contribution. This is our living legacy.
Self Help tip: To promote understanding, gently place your hands along the bottom of your rib cage on the front of your body. Hold for as long as you like, whenever you like.